Freitag, 7. Dezember 2012

Boning your best friend

It is possible to occasionally sleep with your friend without it turning into some big ol’ thing. Why is there such intense debate about this? Why did Hollywood have to poop out two identical movies that explore this STRANGE and TWISTED phenomenon known as, “friends with benefits”? “OMG,” a fearful woman screams. “Is it true? Can you REALLY sleep with someone and not want to have 10,000 of their babies afterwards?” Yes. Friend sex is tricky but it can work on a case by case basis. I would just advise that the person you’re boning not be your best friend and that you only have sex sporadically. There. Bingo. Now you can sleep with most of your friends! Thought Catalog

He wasn't my best friend before.
Dear Universe, that's cheating, damnit!

No, but seriously. Sometimes, when things are complicated in my head, I start thinking "Well, yeah, maybe you shouldn't have made your best friend your friend-with-benefits!? Ever thought about that?" But then I remember that he was the latter first; that we had hardly any meaningful one-on-one conversations before I kinda jumped him with "Hey, just a suggestion, but I am of the opinion that we should make out." And that only through this physical addendum to our friendship did it grow into something that was intimate also in its non-sexual layers. And that I am so grateful for that.

Sadly, this doesn't by far make things less complicated. But otherwise things are pretty okay, I guess.

"Pretty okay"? That's unacceptable! On with the depressing, existential pondering on unanswerable questions. As you do.
Friend sex is tricky but it can work on a case by case basis.
How do you define "work"? It's been four month and I'm still not entirely sure this works. I mean, I'm quite sure that it's a good thing right now and that it's healthy for both of us and so on. But there is also the distinct possibility that we will end up breaking each other's hearts. And that this act of heartbreaking will involve and make use of every single good thing our relationship was and turn it against us. The Working Now will probably make the Not Working Out Later all the more painful.

(I just realized how trivial this discussion is, because really? The question of "If it doesn't work out in the end, does it mean it has never really worked at all?" is present everywhere in amateur romantic discourse. HOW ORIGINAL!)

Okay, I'll just stop pointlessly running in circles in my head. It works now. If it's going to hurt it'll do so soon enough. No need to wreck my head about it now.

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